Teachers want us to work, and I say, “Fine, I’ll work. But you’ve gotta let me do the kind of work that I wanna do.” And for me, it’s my drum kit, man. This is my passion. This is the essence of who I am now. But before I had this, I was lost, too. You see what I’m saying? You need to find your reason for living. You’ve got to find your big, gigantic drum kit.
My therapist asked me if I could kill you too. I answered ’ I could hurt everyone, but not her. I would never hurt her in that way. I can’t’.
Deleted bc that was really lame but the answer is crying now and quite possibly for the rest of my life
it will not be at 3 am in someone else’s arms and it will not be when you throw the box of pictures and letters and memories across the room because they’re gone now. They are gone now and you can’t do a thing about it.
this is how you will fall out of love, it will be slow and it will be painful, like slowly tearing a band-aid off, except worse. It will be gradual, like the first time you realized you were falling into love. You may be walking down the hallway of your home when you forget what their nose looks like. There will be flashbacks and times where you imagine them to be right next to you at anytime. You will smell the cigarette smoke and look around, because that used to be them. A stranger will smile at you and you will wish they weren’t around to see you cry.
this is how you will fall out of love, when you realize you used past tense to talk about them. This time you did not have to correct yourself and you did not cry. There will be stormy nights and you will want to text them, “I miss you” but you don’t. You don’t because it’s time. It’s time and you both know it and even though it hurts, you make the decision to turn out the lights and fall asleep alone.
this is how you will fall out of love, you will see someone and think they are cute and you will not feel shame because you saw someone that was not them. You will find yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror, with water dripping off of your freckled skin, right after your shower. You will connect your freckles and pinch your love handles and you will close your eyes and you will remember all the times they held you, but you will not miss them. You will allow yourself this one night of no regrets, this one night of not missing them, this one night of being alone and knowing you’re worthy, because there have been so many nights harder than this one.
this is how you will fall out of love, you will finally forgive them for keeping that from you. It will be less about forgiving and more about forgetting. You will stop blaming yourself, you will stop imagining a future where you meet ten years down the road in a coffee shop or a punk show where your favorite band is playing, and you start over. There is no starting over. You know this is the end. You know it won’t happen again.
this is how you will fall out of love, there will be many sleepless nights. there will be many sleepless nights. there will be many sleepless nights. there will be many sleepless nights, but one day you will drift off to sleep and you won’t dream of them. It will be hard and it may take seven months or a year or three years but you will fall out of love with them and it will hurt and you will hold them in your knees like grass stains that don’t wash out and you may forget their face and you may forget their name but they are a part of you now. You will fall out of love with them and they will fall out of love with you and you will forever see love differently. You will forever see God differently. You will talk to the Divine like they are human, like they are broken, like they have loved and lost it all, too.
this is how you will fall out of love, you will remember that you could never promise forever and you will realize that this was good for as long as it lasted. Your love was fresh and pure until it ran out. You will understand that it did not need to last forever, it did not need to become stale.
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
I just want someone who won’t get annoyed when I text them six times or in all caps. Someone I can go on long drives with and can sing along to the radio with. Someone I can eat pizza with at 2am and kiss at 6pm. Someone who chooses me everyday and never thinks twice about it.
I just want to have a completely adventurous, passionate, weird life.
I just really enjoy mama swider and I’s relationship, she’ll just casually hit me up first for the ice cream and now this. Like I wonder if she’s talked to Emma about what happened. The world may never know. Such a shame on the two wasted life though.
i’ll always love you ‘cause we grew up together and you helped make me who i am. i just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and i’m grateful for that. whatever someone you become, and wherever you are in the world, i’m sending you love. you’re my friend to the end.
— her (2013)
Casually eats two bowls of spaghetti a smooth and a pack of ramen in one sitting